Take a minute to think about your bestie. The love you have for him or her, the experiences you've shared, your ability to laugh hysterically at nothing for minutes on end... even that knowing that you should call them when something tells you that something just isn't right in their lives.
Take a minute and imagine if you had that relationship with your body.
How would things change?
You likely wouldn't pick her apart and focus on every perceived flaw.
The first words out of your mouth wouldn't be... "OMG that pooch! Those thighs! Girl, that arm jiggle is outta' control!"
If you heard someone telling her that she wasn't ______ enough, you'd go into protector mode and tell them to hit the road #byefelicia
When tired you'd tell her to rest and and recharge... not to buck up buttercup, you've got a few more pounds to lose!
The highlight reel of your relationship wouldn't be focused on hate... but instead, it would be focused on love.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, arguments and misunderstandings. But just like your relationship with your best friend, your relationship with your body can come out on the other side... you just have to put in the work to get there.
Are you mad at your body? Is your body mad at you? How can you repair the damage done?
John Gottman is considered the rockstar of the couples counseling world. His research and studies show that to repair 1 negative interaction in relationship, we have to have 5 positive interactions.
Let's apply this concept to our relationship with our bodies. Because at the end of the day, relationships are relationships. And the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself.
Consider how many times per day you criticize, neglect or punish your body rather than praise it, appreciate it or even acknowledge it.
-->When you comment on how "terrible" you look in xyz
-->When you tack an hour of cardio onto your workout to undo the calories you ate
-->When you deprive your body when it's telling you that it's hungry
-->When you deprive your body when it's asking for a treat
That's 4 negative interactions off the bat! To undo that we need 20 positives! See how this can add up?
I want to help you become your body’s friend… and eventually! Your body’s best friend.
Let’s start rebuilding your relationship with your body and building a base of positive interactions to counter those negative interactions. Grab the worksheet to get you on your way here (be sure to save the document to your computer so you can fill it out)!
Now, I’d encourage you to put these strategies into practice. Tomorrow. The next day. As often as you can.
Because practice makes progress!
When you find yourself saying, “eff it!” Consider if you would throw in the towel on your bestie, too.
Didn’t think so.
Keep on keepin’ on.
If you need a nudge, an ear or a reminder of how beautifully badass you are for engaging in this process, I’m a quick email away.
You’ve got this
I'm a body image, eating disorder and self-love therapist in Horsham, PA.
I help women and teen girls to make peace with their minds, bodies and food and learning how to see, appreciate and love all that they are.
I specialize in binge eating and helping women learn how to stop dieting and really start living.