You've been trying so hard to discover exactly who you are and what you want out of life. You've established your 5 year plan and have launched (and re-launched) the plan to help you get to where you want to go. Surely, that will help you discover and embrace what makes you, well... you. As you travel down this bumpy road, you often wonder how you got here... is this what you really want? You have a nagging feeling that you aren't showing the world the person that you really are. You aren't sure that you know exactly who you are.
So, you do more. You fill your days with action, doing everything in your power to live up to your expectations of yourself and what you assume are society's expectations. You're starting to feel a bit like a hamster on a wheel, running as fast as you can, but never arriving at your destination.
What's getting in your way?
You're avoiding the speed bumps and the messages that you send you each time you hit one. Instead of getting curious about the feelings that are coming up when you envision your life and participating in it authentically, you speed on. There's no time to process when you have so much to accomplish!
You're buying into your inner-critic
You know that little voice in the back of your head that keeps telling you that you aren't good-enough for the promotion, pretty enough for that cute guy at the bar, or skinny enough to hit the beach? You're listening to it and allowing it to control how you participate in your life.
Your flaws are like a broken record in your mind
Yeah, that inner critic still won't shut up. You believe that you could have done better, should have done better. If you had, you would be leaps and bounds ahead of where you are now. Right?
You're a self proclaimed perfectionist
If you're perfect, you'll live up. You'll be worthy of the promotion, pretty enough for the cute guy and yes, your body will be skinny enough for the beach this weekend. If you appear to be perfect, no one will have a clue that you're really struggling. That you really want to show up as is... without strings and expectations attached.
You're going through the motions
You are passionate about so many things. But, you downplay your passions. It's easier, safer, to stay the course. You wonder what it's like to live your passion, to embrace and show the world what lights you up to your core. But, thats uncomfortable. You just aren't ready to get uncomfortable.
What is this thing they call self-care?
You've been so busy pleasing and doing for other people, there hasn't been any time to care for yourself. You're so burned out that any spare moment you have is spent thinking about what's next. Who can you do for? What can you fix?
The proverbial glass seems to be forever half-empty
You've never considered yourself a pessimist, but lately you can't help but feeling a little stuck. You want to believe that things can get better, that you can show the world who you are and why you are amazing, but it seems like there is no point. Negativity is permeating throughout your life.
So, you remain on the hamster wheel. Pretending, striving, avoiding.
I want to help you stop running on that wheel already!
Check out these 10 tips to assist you in discovering who you are, originally published on the Huffington Post.
While you're at it, check out this article on making lemonade out of the lemons that life is throwing at you!
I'd love to hear your thoughts!