It's OK to Want to Lose Weight
You might be wondering if I lost my mind by sending that in the subject line!
But, I assure you, I haven't!
No more than usual at least 😜.
I really mean it, though. It's ok to want to lose weight.
It's ok to want to follow your eating disorder's rules.
It's ok to be pushing back against the whisper of the compassionate caregiver's voice in your head that's encouraging you to loosen your grip on disordered eating patterns.
It's ok.
You can want to continue to lose weight. You can want to keep your eating disorder around to keep you safe. You can want to look like the hottest model on social media.
It's ok.
Just because you want to, doesn't mean you have to.
You don't have to pursue weight loss.
You don't have to continue to continue to hold onto your eating disorder with all your might.
You don't have to work to shape your body to fit into a narrow societal ideal.
It's so common for people to judge themselves for not knowing where to start or for not being able to fully let go of the behaviors or beliefs that have been guiding them for so long.
The truth of the matter is that change takes time, patience and a serious amount of effort.
Change also takes a certain amount of dissonance between what you want to do and the actions that you actually end up taking.
And when you judge yourself and beat yourself up for being right where you are in this process (ie those knee jerk wants), you allow the *want* to gain power.
Which is the opposite of what we're working toward- you recognizing, leaning into and grabbing ahold of your personal power.
So be where you are.
Recognize your wants.
Get curious about how the want will serve you in the long run. And understand that each time you act in opposition of the want, you regain a little bit of your power back.
Power that will help you pursue things that will really serve your mind and your body.
Power that will shift you toward your highest, most authentic self and away from relying on unhealthy behaviors and efforts of control around food and your body.
Powerful things like...
Compassion as your default mode.
Seeing your inherent worthiness regardless of your shape or size.
Regularly honoring your body's wants and needs.
Inhabiting your body without judgement.
True health- instead of socially constructed appearances of health.
And offering yourself forgiveness what you have a misstep- and allowing yourself to come right back to where you left off.
It seems counterintuitive to drop the self-judgements when we lean toward engaging in the behaviors that we so desperately want to get away from.
But judging yourself is never an effective agent for change.
If you want true and lasting healing, be curious. Be open.
In those moments when the *wants* seems to be driving the ship, respond to yourself with understanding- it's hard to move away from behaviors that have informed the way you operate in the world- behaviors that have served some sort of purpose for so long.
It's in that space, in that openness, that you can acknowledge and move toward what will really serve you.
And because I want to help you create that space, I've designed something for you👩🏻🎤!
A journal! A pretty badass journal... if I do say so myself!
It's designed specifically for people struggling with binge and emotional eating.
(I'm in the process of working on a different version for those of you who are struggling with restriction or other compensatory behaviors around food. It'll be ready soon, so stay tuned!)
The journal is 4 weeks long and each week there's a specific goal and prompt to guide you.
If you're ready to understand, get behind and stop battling binge and emotional eating...
It's a starting point for curiosity and giving yourself permission to take the time and space to gather information that will help you understand... so that you can then heal.
Here to support you or be your cheerleader should you need it!
I'm a body image and eating disorder therapist in Horsham, PA. I specialize in treating binge and emotional eating.
I'm also an intuitive eating coach and help women all over the country learn how to stop dieting so they can really start living.
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