5 Tips for Eating Out While Recovering From An Eating Disorder
“Let’s go out to eat!”
A simple phrase that can bring on significant stress and overwhelm for folks who are struggling with an eating disorder.
The fear of the unknown can truly be paralyzing. And, the chatter in your head that can come alongside the fear can be truly overwhelming. As a result, many who are using eating disorder behaviors avoid going out to eat, or eating with other people.
Many people who are struggling with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder or orthorexia report significant loneliness and isolation as a result. From declining invites to celebrations to cancelling well intended last minute plans, going out to eat and/or eating in front of, or with, other people can be a truly trying experience.
It’s tempting to carry on, avoiding going to restaurants and gatherings because of what it triggers inside of you
Feeling the activation of fear and anxiety can be uncomfortable. And, the longer you put off learning to feel it and care for yourself through it, the longer your eating disorder will have a hold on you.
You deserve more than the loneliness of your eating disorder.
Here are 5 ways to cope with going out to eat while in recovery from an eating disorder.
1. Plan Ahead. Or Don’t.
This is a nuanced one! If you are just starting out your journey in recovery, planning ahead can be crucial for your ability to actually show up. If that’s the case, scope out online menus. See if you can notice what looks good, not only what is safe.
When you notice something that looks good, get curious.
What about it? The taste? Temperature? Texture? Does it bring up good memories from earlier in your life?
Allowing yourself to feel into what *could* be pleasurable is a step. If you’re not able to take the next step in giving yourself permission to order that thing, be gentle with yourself.
Safe is ok. Especially when you’re leaning into uncomfortable situations. Notice the activation that comes up when or if you consider ordering something outside of your safe foods. Try to ground yourself in the present moment, reminding yourself that you are safe enough in the here and now.
And, of course, order what you feel like you can.
If you’re feeling like you have more solid footing in your recovery process, see what it’s like to head to the restaurant without looking at their online menus. Can you companion yourself through the process of reading the menu? Seeing what would taste or feel good? Can you greet yourself with compassion if you notice activation around the experience?
All of these things are signs of health and progress in recovery.
2. Go out with people who are supportive.
Think about the people in your life who just. show. up. for you. Friends. Family members. Colleagues. Neighbors.
Those are your people.
People who you can be vulnerable enough to share that going out to eat is a big deal for you. That i’s full of rumination, fear and worry.
People who you can draw boundaries with.
Here are some examples:
No morality food talk.
For the love, don’t even think about mentioning calories.
Coach me up.
Remind me that I’m worthy of eating.
No body talk.
No guilt tripping over what I order or how much I eat.
Know that as you start to venture back out into the world of restaurant dining, showing up is a huge deal.
Celebrate that. Be with people who will celebrate that.
And, as you keep showing up, feel into how you can continue to challenge yourself, changing what you order, adding to what you order, not planning ahead, taking home left overs, leaving what’s left over. All of these things can be a challenge. And, that’s ok.
You can do hard things 🧡.
3. Keep it light.
Not the food.
The conversation.
The last thing you need is adding more stress around family drama, friend dynamics or politics in an already stressful situation.
4. No matter how the outing went, be compassionate with yourself.
Ya’ll we can’t do a blog post without mentioning self-compassion.
Because it’s the thing.
The thing to support you in exiting a shame spiral, shifting out of judging yourself for where you are or aren’t in your recovery process and reminding you that you aren’t alone in your suffering. That you deserve kindness, empathy and support regardless of how the meal went.
5. Learn from the experience.
How’d it go?
Where did you have the most anxiety?
How did you notice that anxiety?
Where or when was your eating disorder the loudest?
When did you feel most connected to the experience?
To the people you were with?
What did the food taste like?
Was it pleasurable?
How and where did you notice the pleasure?
Were you drawn to something else on the menu?
Why or why not?
What was your self talk like after the meal?
What, if any, behaviors were you pulled toward after the meal?
If your eating disorder had a voice, and could express why itself, what emotion(s) would it express toward you, toward the meal, toward the entire experience?
Looking for a few delicious restaurants in Horsham, PA that the Reclaim team loves?
Here’s a few to check out:
Farm and Fisherman- 575 Horsham Rd. Horsham, PA 19044
*Try the potato wedges. You won’t be sorry!
Magerks- 307 Horsham Rd. Horsham, PA 19044
*For the nacho’s of your dreams!
The Copper Crow- 116 Welsh Rd. Horsham, PA 19044
*Their outdoor seating is a whole vibe
Cafe Lombardi’s- 294 Horsham Rd. Horsham, PA 19044
*Our neighbor, you’ll smell the garlic in the air as you leave our office. The cutest little Italian place!
Starbucks- 301 Horsham Rd. Horsham, PA 19044
*Simply because we help keep them in business 🤪 ☕
Remember, throughout your recovery process and in eating disorder therapy in Pennsylvania, there will be highs and lows.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
Like most things, going out to eat while in recovery from an eating disorder will likely feel worse before it feels better. Does that suck? Yes. Does that mean you can’t do it? Nope.
We’re rooting for you and holding the unwavering belief that you and your body are deserving of delicious food, connection with people who you love and care about, and freedom from your eating disorder.
🧡,
Reclaim Therapy provides specialized Eating Disorder Therapy in Pennsylvania and Binge Eating Therapy in Horsham, PA.
We’re a group of trauma therapist in Pennsylvania who specialize in treating eating disorders, binge eating disorder, PTSD and complex PTSD in Pennsylvania. Our therapists are trained in EMDR and provide EMDR for binge eating, EMDR for eating disorders and EMDR for trauma. If you’re looking for trauma therapist near me, we’re glad you found us. We’d be honored to support you in your recovery journey.