If you're like most women, you've spent a good amount of time throughout your life trying to level up.
Trying to figure out how to feel good enough.
Trying to catch a glimpse of what worthiness feels like.
And as you've tried to catch those glimpses, you've probably done whatever you can to avoidfeeling the sharp pain that unworthiness causes.
By covering up your perceived flaws, grinding to make up for what you feel are your unacceptable and epic faults, or self-helping yourself into as state of numbed oblivion.
Because feeling the deep wounds of unworthiness hurts!
So you look around to do what you're taught. What you're conditioned to do...
Convince yourself that if you FINALLY "just" lose the weight, eat clean, stick to an exercise plan or find that one self-help book that speaks to your soul, you'll get there.
To the place where you can bask in the perfection of doing this whole life and self-love thing right.
Yes, we convince ourselves that at that point, worthiness will arrive.
The longer you anxiously try to cover up your imperfections, those very things you believe are making you inherently unworthy, the longer you'll be stuck in the grind.
The grind of hustling.
These are the things that reinforce unworthiness.
These are the actual things that pull you out of your life.
Away from relaxing enough to see what is- who you are and the gifts you already offer your world.
Away from expressing yourself in ways that serve you.
Away from pausing to feel and understand emotionality.
Away from finding peace within yourself.
Many of my clients are shocked when they realize that true and lasting healing from disordered eating and body-hate actually has very little to do with food and their bodies.
Sure, those are the things you project your pain onto. That you try with all your might to control to stop your unworthiness wounds from flaring up.
But, the efforts of control are a massive distraction.
A distraction that reinforces the message you've bought into that if you don't control, that if you don't strive and grind for perfection, then you won't ever feel worthy. Loved. Beautiful even.
You have the power within you, at this very moment, to take steps to stop this cycle.
By giving yourself permission, momentary permission even, to practice imperfect action.
Imperfection action is exactly what is sounds like. It's taking action that's unsure. That's uncomfortable. That's against the grain of what you usually strive for.
It's action that has no in-the-moment-promise of glory.
Think of the behaviors you're fed up with.
Perpetually falling on and off the dieting wagon.
I want you to think of 1 way you can purposefully take imperfect action in the face of those behaviors.
Maybe it's outwardly acknowledging that you're sick engaging in eating disorder behaviors. Maybe it's riding out an urge. Maybe it's uninstalling MyFitnessPal. Maybe it's smashing your FitBit to pieces.
Try to give yourself permission to try it. And know that the behaviors will always be there, they'll always be available, should you decide to go back to them.
See how the action is imperfect? There's no promise or assumption that in the future, you won't lean on them.
But, it's in-the-flesh, in-the-moment-proof that you are, in fact, a work in progress.
Taking imperfect action propels you away from the worthiness trap.
And toward a life that you can live in, love in, immerse yourself in... unapologetically, exactly as you are.
I'm a body image and eating disorder therapist and coach in Horsham, PA.
I specialize in treating binge eating and helping women rediscover their inherent and unwavering beautiful badassery.
Are you ready to take steps to heal your relationship with your mind body and food?
Sign up for the Beautifully Badass Newsletter below and let's get to it!