When Recovery From Body Image Issues Feels Like Grief
When you decide to start, or restart, your recovery from disordered eating or body image struggles, it can feel like you’re losing more than you’re gaining.
This sense of loss shows up often in body image therapy. And it makes sense.
You might be letting go of:
Behaviors (restriction, over-exercise, purging, bingeing, body-checking) that once made you feel safe, contained, even in control.
The fantasy of what your body "could be" if only you tried harder, followed the rules better, or stuck to the plan.
A coping mechanism that distracted you from pain or gave you something—anything—to focus on besides the overwhelm.
The dream that dieting would finally “work.” That you could control your body without the shame, spiraling, and chaos around food.
The truth is, to heal your relationship with food and your body, you might have to let go of all of this—and more. Because your body was never meant to be micromanaged, punished, or manipulated into meeting impossible, fatphobic standards.
Recovery Means Grieving. Here’s Why:
Letting go of an eating disorder, or even just the body obsession that’s been running your life, isn’t as simple as “getting better.” You’re not just changing habits. You’re changing how you relate to your body, your identity, your sense of safety.
That’s a big deal.
Grief counseling in Pennsylvania often draws on the five stages of grief (from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross): denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages aren’t linear, but they can offer a framework for understanding what comes up when we start to recover.
Whether you're navigating recovery from anorexia, binge eating, orthorexia, or chronic dieting, recognizing, moving with and honoring these stages can help you move toward a more embodied, connected life.
Let’s take a look at how these stages of grief show up in body image therapy, and how to work through them.
Denial: “That might be true for other people, but not me.”
You might be in this stage if you find yourself:
Still engaging in disordered eating behaviors, even though part of you knows dieting doesn’t “work” long-term
Believing that this time, if you just try harder, you’ll finally reach your goal weight
Fantasizing about your “after” body, while conveniently forgetting the suffering, shame, and food obsession that come with it
Supportive strategies:
Meet yourself with compassion. It’s human to cling to what once felt safe, even when it harms us.
Remind yourself: if dieting worked, you wouldn’t be reading this blog.
Practice being in your body now. Feel what it’s like to be hungry, full, or satisfied—without attaching judgment or goals.
Anger: “This isn’t fair. Why me?”
You might be here if you:
Feel resentment about how hard it is to be in your body
Blame yourself for not being able to "get it right"
Get pulled back into dieting to numb or avoid the shame
Cycle between anger and denial
Supportive strategies from a grief therapist:
Externalize the anger. Diet culture, not your body, is the problem.
Name the systems (fatphobia, healthism, capitalism even family culture) that set you up to feel like you’re never enough.
Call out diet culture every chance you get. It’s a radical act of self-respect.
Bargaining: “I'll recover… but only after I hit my goal weight.”
You might be bargaining if:
You tell yourself you’ll stop dieting after “just one more round”
You're trying to pursue weight loss and intuitive eating at the same time
You stay stuck in the binge–repent–repeat cycle
You justify disordered behaviors under the guise of “wellness” or “health”
Ways to move through this stage:
Get curious: What does it mean for something to “work”? At what cost?
Learn about intuitive eating and Health at Every Size (HAES®). The research is there.
Talk with a therapist who understands eating disorder recovery and grief. You don’t have to untangle this alone.
Depression: “This really sucks.”
You might be in this stage if:
You're grieving the time, money, and energy spent in pursuit of a smaller body
You feel lost or unsure who you are without your food rules or body obsession
You're mourning the comfort and control that disordered eating once provided
How to honor this grief:
Let yourself feel it. This isn’t your fault—it’s the outcome of a culture that profits off your insecurity.
Seek out support to process early messages you received about food, worth, and body size.
Read about how fatphobia impacts everyone—and keeps eating disorders alive.
Acceptance: “This is where I am. Even if it’s hard.”
You might be entering this stage if:
You’re starting to feel more neutral toward food or your body
You're living more in the present, rather than waiting for a certain weight or size
You're trusting hunger and fullness signals, even if it's clunky sometimes
You're creating a life that feels meaningful—now, not “someday”
Supportive practices:
Celebrate small moments of self-trust. These are wins.
Remember: you can revisit acceptance again and again. It’s not a finish line.
Let it be imperfect. Healing isn’t a clean arc—it’s a spiral.
Working Through Grief in Body Image Counseling
The road to recovery is winding and hard. You're not just letting go of behaviors. You’re grieving who you thought you had to be.
If you’re experiencing loss—loss of identity, of safety, of the version of yourself you hoped dieting might give you—you’re not broken. You’re healing.
At Reclaim Therapy, our grief therapists in Pennsylvania specialize in supporting people through the overlapping grief of body image issues and eating disorder recovery.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Reach out today to learn how grief counseling in Pennsylvania can support your recovery.
🧡,
Looking for in-person or online therapy in Pennsylvania?
We’re a group of trauma-informed therapists who specialize in treating body image, eating disorders, trauma and grief. We are a fat-positive practice and believe that all bodies, no matter their size, are deserving of liberation from disordered eating behaviors, trauma, shame, and oppression. We’d be honored to support you on your journey toward healing your relationship with your mind, body, and food. Contact us for a free consultation to get started!