You call it "just how I am.”

But, doesn't it sometimes feel lonely in that carefully constructed fortress of self-reliance?

From the outside, you seem capable.

But, inside? You might be quietly unraveling.

That’s not just burnout. That’s the overfunctioning trauma response, a nervous system stuck in overdrive, long after danger has passed.

We tend to talk about trauma responses in terms of fight, flight, orfreeze trauma response. But there’s a fourth one we don’t talk about nearly enough, fawn.

"Triggered" has become one of those words that gets thrown around everywhere.

On Instagram captions, in group chats, even as a joke at the dinner table.

But if you’ve lived through trauma, emotional neglect, or a chronically unsafe upbringing, you know that being triggered is anything but funny.

You know that kind of relationship that feels electric at first?

The one that sweeps you up, makes you feel chosen, alive, like maybe this time, finally, you’ve found something real?

But then, almost without warning, it shifts.

The warmth cools.

The attention fades.

And, you’re left holding the thread, trying to make sense of what just happened.

But instead of drifting into sleep, your thoughts pick up speed. Suddenly, you’re reviewing every awkward conversation you’ve ever had, planning tomorrow’s to-do list, worrying about things you can’t control, and now it’s 1:42 a.m. and your brain is still going.

Sound familiar?

There are moments in recovery from trauma and eating disorders that are easy to miss.

You might feel your shoulders drop after a hard conversation. Or find yourself breathing through a grocery store line instead of dissociating. Or realize you’re actually tasting your food.

If you’ve been showing up for therapy, practicing self-awareness, setting boundaries, and still find yourself overwhelmed or disconnected, it’s easy to wonder if you’re missing something, or not doing something “right”.

Feeling disconnected from your body is far more common than most people realize.

Research shows that nearly half of people with trauma histories experience significant dissociation - a protective process where your system pulls you away from overwhelming thoughts, emotions, or sensations.

You don’t remember a tragic event.

There was no funeral. No big goodbye.

You were clothed. Fed. Maybe even told you were loved.

And yet... there’s this ache.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether you have complex PTSD (CPTSD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD), or if you’ve been given conflicting diagnoses, many people have had similar experiences.

Maybe someone’s tone of voice sets something off inside you, or you make a small mistake and suddenly feel like a complete failure, unworthy of love or belonging.

No clear memory. No obvious trigger. Just an emotional landslide that feels impossible to stop.

If you grew up feeling like you couldn’t rely on anyone, it makes sense that as an adult, you might operate like you don’t need anyone.

Hyper-independence, being so self-reliant that you struggle to ask for or receive help, often gets framed as a strength.

People admire it.

They call you “capable,” “driven,” and “strong.”

Narcissistic abuse doesn’t just end when the relationship does.

The damage lingers: self-doubt, emotional exhaustion, nervous system burnout, and a nagging feeling that maybe it really was all your fault.

It’s not.