One of the most painful parts of eating disorder recovery can be knowing exactly what you want to change and still finding yourself pulled toward the same behaviors.

You can understand that something is hurting you.

You can be exhausted by how much space food, movement, weight, or your body takes up in your mind.

You can genuinely want a different relationship with food.

And still, when you're overwhelmed, anxious, disconnected, ashamed, uncertain, or having a particularly hard day, the eating disorder behavior can feel incredibly difficult to resist.

What if you can't reliably feel hunger? What if fullness feels scary? What if eating what you want seems like it would end in chaos? What if you've spent years learning that your body is the problem?

ADHD and autism aren't just about attention or social differences. They can affect how you notice what's happening inside your body, process sensory information, plan and initiate tasks, shift attention, respond to rewards, and regulate emotion.

Turns out, eating asks us to do a whole lot of those things.

If you're here because something in you is worried, about yourself or about someone you love, trust that instinct. Bulimia survives and thrives on secrecy. The sooner it gets named, the more room there is to actually do something about it.

You avoid work lunches because you're never sure there'll be anything you can eat. You've memorized restaurant menus before agreeing to plans with friends. Traveling feels like a logistical nightmare because food is unpredictable. You've spent years brushing it off, calling yourself picky, laughing it off before someone else does.

If you're typing this into Google, you're probably not doing it casually.

Something feels off.

You might notice intrusive thoughts about food that won't quiet down, rituals around eating that feel impossible to break, or a sense that your brain has hijacked both your relationship with food and your peace of mind.

Let me start with this… if you’re here, reading this, you’re probably not looking for a list of scary facts. You’ve already lived through enough of that, in your doctor’s office, in your own head, maybe even from the people who were supposed to care for you.

When starting the very hard work of normalizing your relationship with food, being curious about how restriction is playing a role in your eating behaviors is one of the most helpful places to start.

Most people don’t equate restriction with all of the eating disorders, but the truth is that restriction is at the foundation of disordered eating, anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder and orthorexia (along with many other things!).

Binge eating at night is a challenge many people face.

This way of eating involves consuming a lot of food rapidly until you feel uncomfortable. Afterward, you may experience feelings of guilt and shame. It can become a cycle of behaviors that can feel hard to end or escape.

If you’ve ever quietly wondered, "do men get eating disorders?" the answer is yes.

Absolutely, yes.

If you’re a man struggling with you’re relationship with food and your body, we see you.