Polyvagal Theory Explained Part 2
Neuroception: Detecting Signs of Safety and Danger in Those Who Have Experienced Trauma
Welcome to part II of “What Even is Nervous System Regulation Anyway?”
In my last blog post, I talked about the nervous system and why it's gaining a lot of attention these days. Here, we're getting more specific about why people can feel hard to read: trauma can affect our neuroception—the subconscious process that scans for safety and danger—so our nervous system may register threat where there isn't any, or miss safety that's actually there.
To summarize, the nervous system is broken up into a hierarchy of 3 pathways:
Once we've detected signs of safety or danger, we move up and down this hierarchy to protect ourselves. How does it work though? How do we detect signals of safety and threat in our environment? And what happens when what we're “detecting” isn't entirely accurate? If trauma has left you second-guessing people, missing details, or feeling confused by your own reactions in relationships, this is the problem we're talking about.
Neuroception is a fancy, scientific term that helps us answer these questions. Neuroception is the subconscious process that allows us to detect safety, danger, and threat. It's like an internal surveillance system. In this piece, we'll look at how trauma shapes that system, how it changes the way we read situations and people, and what awareness and discernment practices can help us respond with more accuracy.
If we've experienced trauma, our neuroception may be primed to detect danger. In other words, trauma can reconfigure our internal surveillance system so that it becomes more skilled at catching signs of danger than it does safety, even when it might not be completely accurate. Trauma-related stress can also affect one's ability to concentrate, think clearly, read subtle social cues, and stay with the details of what's happening in the moment.
You can imagine a ring camera that mainly saves the scariest clips and misses most of the ordinary or beautiful ones; over time, those repeated captures would create a distorted pattern, and patterns are usually more informative than one isolated moment by itself. The owner of this ring camera will certainly feel more frightened overall and perhaps have a view of the world that is different from what's actually happening out there. And when people seem hard to read, it's often because the meaning is coming through micro-expressions, posture, gesture, and vocal sound—not obvious words alone.
Let's play this out in the real world.
Let's say you're working at your computer and your loving, trusted partner taps you on the shoulder. Instead of turning around calmly to ask “what's up?”, you immediately jump out of your seat and give out a yell.
There's a mismatch between what's happening in the environment and your response. Your neuroception detected danger when there wasn't necessarily any danger afoot. Understanding that mismatch matters, because once you can see how trauma has shaped your internal signals, you can start reshaping your nervous system, improving emotional regulation, and relating to other people with more clarity.
That begs the questions: why does the mismatch happen and what can we do about it?
The Nervous System Listens: Physical Symptoms and Responses
Our nervous system gathers information from inside the body, outside the body, and between bodies, including voice, pace, and other vocal details we hear in conversation. People who are hard to read may give low-detail answers, lead with facts instead of feelings, and subtly mirror someone else’s tone while talking, which can mask emotion even as the nervous system keeps listening for cues.
With all of this information, our bodies respond by moving around the autonomic hierarchy (fight/flight/freeze, calm/ease, or collapse).
Early Childhood Shapes Our Neuroception
Our childhood experiences and early development shape our nervous systems.
For individuals who grew up in safe environments, neuroception is often developed to accurately detect cues of safety and danger. This makes sense. If these individuals could reliably predict their environment, there was no need for their nervous system to hone in on what could potentially be dangerous.
For those who grew up with less stability and predictability, the nervous system may be more primed to detect threats making situations feel scarier than they might truly be, and trauma can also contribute to anxiety disorders, depression, and other mental illness patterns that affect focus, empathy, and emotional dysregulation.
This also makes sense! If your environment was unpredictable or unsafe (physically, emotionally, or otherwise), it's not only plausible that your nervous system would shape itself to be on the lookout for danger, it's necessary, and traumatic experiences can keep shaping emotions and reactions long after childhood, not just in moments of immediate danger.
Our bodies and nervous systems are always looking out for us..
We Can Reshape Our Neuroception
So now what?
The good news is that as much as our neuroception was shaped by our early experiences, that means we are able to reshape it!
Deb Dana, LCSW, offers a river metaphor to explain the path from subconscious neuroception to the story we tell ourselves.
You can use the chain below and imagine it as a river, where neuroception is at the source of the river and “story” (what we tell ourselves) is at the end.
To follow this river, let’s use an example that I shared above. Your trusted, loving partner taps you on the shoulder and you jump up out of your seat and let out a quick yelp.
Upon realizing that it’s just your partner saying hello, your heart rate slows and you catch your breath. Out loud you say, “You scared me! Don’t do that!”.
The story you’re telling yourself at this point may be “why does my partner do that?!”.
As we move our way back down the metaphorical “river”, we can see the behavior was the startle response (jumping out of your seat). The feeling was fear. Going back further to state, you may have been experiencing fight/flight (sympathetic activation). This sympathetic activation was charged up by the perception of the tap on the shoulder, and before that came subconscious neuroception (tap = danger).
Following the river back to its source allows us to get curious about the story we’re telling ourselves.
The story here was “why does my partner do that!?” when perhaps a different story could be shaped over time. Over time, maybe the story becomes: “My nervous system is primed for noticing a threat. It detected that touch as threatening, but I know that it’s not”.
How Do We Reshape Our Nervous System?
To me, it's so exciting that we are able to reshape our nervous systems AND I recognize that this work doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. And often can be done within the safety of a therapeutic relationship.
There are many modalities and practices that therapists can use to support you as you work to reshape your nervous system in the wake of trauma. In my work as a therapist, I start with practicing awareness and discernment. This can also support relationships by helping you notice communication patterns with friends, family, or a partner.
Awareness
This is the practice of tracing a story back to its source. Because neuroception happens subconsciously, it is important that we work to build awareness around what might be happening in our nervous system in response to our environment. (See river metaphor above). People who are hard to read may use vague language, match your tone and pace, ask questions to redirect attention, or use a bit of humor to lower pressure and reset the mood in emotional conversations. Below are some questions to help guide you:
Story: What story are you telling yourself, and did the person lead with facts instead of feelings or keep details minimal?
Behavior: What behaviors and/or urges do you notice within yourself?
Feelings: What feelings accompany this story and/or behaviors/urges?
State: What nervous system state do you most identify with right now? sympathetic (fight/flight/freeze), ventral vagal (calm), dorsal vagal (collapse)?
Perception: What do you notice right now within yourself (physical sensations), in your environment (five senses), or with another person? What cues of safety and/or danger exist at this moment, including posture, quiet pauses, signs of discomfort, or shifts in mood or affect?
Neuroception: Based on what you perceive, can you notice the possibility that your nervous system detected potential danger before it was even in your awareness?
Discernment
Once we've traced our story back to its source, we can begin to ask ourselves the following questions to begin our practice of discernment (or the ability to “judge well”), creating space for low-stakes clarification so you can better understand the person without pressure. With discernment, we are essentially asking ourselves: Am I truly in danger right now? Reminder: this takes practice and time and initially may best be done with a trusted person, such as a therapist.
Questions- What are the cues of safety at this moment?
What are the cues of danger at this moment?
Are there enough cues of safety to bring me closer to ventral vagal calm/connection?
With this person/in this place/surrounded by these things in my environment, am I actually in danger or am I safe?
Some people prefer a few deep connections with the right people over many surface-level interactions, so being hard to read does not automatically mean disinterest.
While practices in awareness and discernment don't solve all of our challenges or heal our trauma entirely, it can be an incredible practice to tap into.
This is how we shape our nervous systems over time to be even better judges of situations as they arise. As always our practice is more than happy to answer any questions you have.
Stay tuned for part three of “Polyvagal Theory Explained” where I’ll talk more about co-regulation.
Our nervous systems work hard to keep us safe, and there may be times where, in fact, we are truly in danger and need to respond accordingly.
It’s the practices of awareness and discernment that allow us to recognize when those moments are actually happening and when they aren’t so that we can act and react in a values-aligned way.
🧡,
Reclaim Therapy provides therapy for childhood trauma, anxiety disorders, EMDR Therapy and eating disorder therapy in Pennsylvania.
Our team is passionate about helping people heal from trauma and reclaim their lives from its impact. If you’re looking for a trauma therapist, we would be honored to support you.